whats with life??

having been confided in my house for an entire day due to rain, i had nth better to do than to lie arnd, try to sleep which i cudnt cuz my sister wudnt let me( god knows y!!! she has her exam tomorrow and acc to her my staying awake somehow helps her study better!!!! *rolls eyes* yeah she is the same one i baked cake for. guess its time for revenge!), no tv to watch cuz my dad's been going on with his cricket :( and nth much to do here wither. so story cut short, i had nth better to to so i did some thinking. serious intellectual thinking.  and the conclusions i came up with havent really made me too happy.

the thing is, i have had a very average life all this time. i mean like forever!!! nth in my life has evr been extraordinary, out of proportions...
see, i live in a nation which is neither too poor, nor too rich, neither too weak, nor too strong. somewhere in the middle, right? no offence to all the patriots out there. i love my country just as much as u do but thats a reality. and its not like its bad or sth. just plain truth. my state, punjab is again, neither too rich nor too poor, neither too backward nor too developed. hence again, average. agreed?
my city, ludhiana is just the same. do u want me to repeat the lines?? u get the general idea, dont u? hence, proved yet again, average!! no offence to anyone, but thats true.. that was scene at large. even in my personal life, i have had eth lying somewhere in the middle. just abt average. average looking, average student, average player, average average average!! god, that word sounds weird now!!1
the reason i am ranting abt it all is that i got to thinking that wat if all my life is gone living this way? average way, i mean. i have big plans for life, i want to achieve a lot of stuff. i have dreams i want fulfilled and lemme tell u, not all of them are just abt average!

when i was a kid, somehow i developed  a view abt life that was a bit different from the real world. as i grew, one after another of my many perceptions shattered. so now that i am onto all the thinking, i was wondering wat if all my perceptions for my future crumble to ground just like they did in past? i know having my dreams come true depends on me, depends on wen i wake up but i am a firm believer of fate, karma and god. i do blv god always has a bigger plan, a better perspective, a higher approach. i mean,, who else, if not him!
god, i dont even know where m i going with this>??? this is just a lot of random thoughts thrown in together, i guess. but the bottom line is, i got myself doubting which aint no good! but yeah, its truth all the same. maybe i got doubts written all over me, atleast for now, but i do know one thing for sure, i wont give up without a fight. i will try. i have tried in the past and i am sure i wont fial myself there atleast. rest of my life is a big mystery which i cant do ath abt right now. i really wanna take one day at a time but somehow, that dsnt happen to me. i like to plan, look ahead, now where m a i going with sth. probably thats y i have a serious fixation for lists. lists for wat to do, wat not to do, wat to get, wen to get, where to go etc etc etc
okay, m going really out of the way here. so going back to where i started from,
to tell the truth, i dont wanna be an average. who does!!!
for all those who made t to the end of this long jumbled piece, i cud really use some advice. to all those who cudnt, u missed ur chance to serious awakening!!!! :P