umm..

gosh, its that crappy feeling again!! u r in a new place where u dunno wat to do and how to do it. not sure is it normal the way things are going!!!! shit man, its junior high all over again..

now, i know this virtual world is in ways better than the real one and yeah all the rest of the stuff too but wat i wonder is that is it normal for it to be kinda 'soona soona' initally cuz ppl, it sure is thoda 'soona soona' here!!! fingers crossed

hmmm, lets see...

what the hell happened?????

i dont know wen did this happen, how did all this change occur but most importantly, why in the whole world did it have to happen???? what is freaking wrong with the life? why cudnt it be simple and easy and not wriggly and winding and dark!!!!!! wy cudnt we be kids forever wen all that matterd was homework, sham ko frnds ke saath park mein chupan chupai khelna and raat ko try and see your fav show while pretending to sleep cuz ur mummy is going berserk worrying u wont get up on time for school the next day!!!!! why did this all happen?? we grew up, had greater, much more petty but weighing things to worry abt and inadvertently went away from things that actually matterd!!!!
priorities ave changed so much in such a short span that i am amazed to know i went thru all this without even realising!! hell, we all did! and m sure we all think abt it some time, and today ismy day to ponder over it all..
life waise hi rehti to kitna maza aata!!! sunday wud have meant chocolate ice cream, raat ko aath baje wud hae meant hum paanch and biggest worry wudhave been abt how to get tail of that lion straight that i am drawing in my art class!!! but nahi, things had to complicate. living under the same roof, we had to go away from everyone who really matterd!!! shit man, things are worse than i thought!
now dont get the idea that i am this sad al the time but this stuff is impt,. we are surrounded by it al th time, the only difference is that some of us have come far enough to worry abt it anymore. but some like me are still stuck there with nowhere to go, not from this atleast!!!!

honestly, i so wish life wud be simpler again. dont u????

that one guy...

he came as a breeze in my life. suddenly and unexpectedly. literally like a breath of fresh air. but his leaving took me just as much by surprise, even though before he left, i had anticipated it wud happen in a similar way ages ago! how they say realities can be stranger than fiction... *sigh*
he was never really there and yet i always felt his presence. wen he left, i didnt think much abt it but was bothered wen he came back although i wanted that to happen. wat was that feeling?? probably insanity. i dont know. i never wud. i started trusting him more than i shud have. he wasnt even mine and i knew that right from the start but i cudnt help myself falling for him more everyday.
i wud wake up hoping to hear from him, wud leave my house wishing i wud run into him. i wud beg god to let him be my frnd. and yet wen that happened, i wasnt all happy, not as much as i had thought i wud be! huh! is that normal? but i was getting sick of the feeling. so one day i decided, enough was enough. i was gonna tell him wat i felt abt him but i had my doubts alright! just wen i was going thru this internal conflict, just wen i was on brim of telling him wat he meant to me, he left! just like that. no goodbyes, no backward glances, no recollections of good times together. just gone in whiff of air.
it still bothers me to think of that, i still wish i cud see him, hear him and be his frnd again but that, i guess, nt happen....
nth is same anymore. life is different, time is different, he is different and probably i am too. but watever that is, that doesnt change the fact that even after all this story, i dont know wat is that feeling called that i had for him? love? yikes!! no way. i know its not that. cant be... a bit too strong frndship??? i doubt that too. jo bhi tha, i have no way to find it out anytime soon...

but u know wat, it doesnt matter either way cuz watever name it might get, wat ihad for him is still there and probably will always be.....

my first one

well, i am here... this is a virtual world, a world of just letters and blogpages with no faces to it. but at times it can be more fulfilling than the real world or so i have heard.
its just my beginning here and i have an entire journey to start so lets see how far does this association go!

honestly saying, blogging isnt my thing. i dont know how to write funny things, make up interesting stories but then thats not all that its abt. its abt speaking ur mind and thats wat i am here to do...
although its so full of thoughts running arnd unbound that i guess, its gonna be one job to stick to one and say sth...

all i can say is, goodluck to me!