that one guy...

he came as a breeze in my life. suddenly and unexpectedly. literally like a breath of fresh air. but his leaving took me just as much by surprise, even though before he left, i had anticipated it wud happen in a similar way ages ago! how they say realities can be stranger than fiction... *sigh*
he was never really there and yet i always felt his presence. wen he left, i didnt think much abt it but was bothered wen he came back although i wanted that to happen. wat was that feeling?? probably insanity. i dont know. i never wud. i started trusting him more than i shud have. he wasnt even mine and i knew that right from the start but i cudnt help myself falling for him more everyday.
i wud wake up hoping to hear from him, wud leave my house wishing i wud run into him. i wud beg god to let him be my frnd. and yet wen that happened, i wasnt all happy, not as much as i had thought i wud be! huh! is that normal? but i was getting sick of the feeling. so one day i decided, enough was enough. i was gonna tell him wat i felt abt him but i had my doubts alright! just wen i was going thru this internal conflict, just wen i was on brim of telling him wat he meant to me, he left! just like that. no goodbyes, no backward glances, no recollections of good times together. just gone in whiff of air.
it still bothers me to think of that, i still wish i cud see him, hear him and be his frnd again but that, i guess, nt happen....
nth is same anymore. life is different, time is different, he is different and probably i am too. but watever that is, that doesnt change the fact that even after all this story, i dont know wat is that feeling called that i had for him? love? yikes!! no way. i know its not that. cant be... a bit too strong frndship??? i doubt that too. jo bhi tha, i have no way to find it out anytime soon...

but u know wat, it doesnt matter either way cuz watever name it might get, wat ihad for him is still there and probably will always be.....